Thoughts on Responsibility.

It is really really easy for me to speak in public. Especially when I'm not going to have people speaking back. I can talk at a group of people for quite a long time without ever getting nervous. In a society where supposedly more people are afraid of public speaking than death, I guess that's kinda unusual. You know what does kinda freak me out? Being responsible for the organization of other people. I can take care of organizing stuff for myself pretty easily, I guess mainly because if I let someone down, it's just me. Makes the task a little less daunting, I guess. But when it comes to doing it for others, I'm not such a big fan.

And isn't that really what a fear of responsibility is? Being worried about letting other people down? Maybe that's why public speaking is so hard for most people. They feel like they have to say something worthwhile to the people they're speaking to, or they'll be letting them down. I don't really feel that way, or at least not very strongly, and so it's not that hard for me. But if I'm in charge of organizing something... Whoo boy, I feel some pressure there. I guess that's why I don't really get pegged to speak in public very often, and more often end up organizing something. Anyone who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor is kidding themselves. More likely, I guess, is that he's trying to teach me something. Improve a talent I don't have.

So when it comes down to dealing with something like that, it sure seems like most people get more than just a little distressed. It can be the end of the world for some. As a way of coping with those responsibilities, though, I like to think of a song I'm rather fond of. It's called The Lucky Ones, by Brendan James, and there's a few lines right at the beginning I really like.

On the edge of a moment,

in a land that we love,

In a time that our best has to be good enough,

Like all those before us, 

we start out alone,

as we race from our schoolyards into the unknown.

It's not the responsibilities we are given that define us, it's how we face them. We're not so different in our problems as we probably think we are, and the fact of the matter is, the best that we can do is the best it can be done. You can't do it the way I can, it's as simple as that.

With our hearts in our hands like loaded guns,

we're taking a stand, we're the lucky ones.

this moment is yours, this moment is mine,

and we're gonna be fine!