Same-Sex Marriage: My Thoughts

Here's a topic you won't see me address often. And in fact, my personal leanings on topics of this nature essentially come down to "why are you sharing this online?" But this has been on my mind for some time now, and I'm hoping some of the raw emotions have settled, so I'll say this one thing and then hold my peace.

See, the Supreme Court of the United States made a decision a few months back on my birthday. Well, to be fair, they didn't actually make the decision on my birthday. They just announced it. And my social media feeds promptly exploded with celebration and outrage in approximately equal ratios. You know what those feeds didn't explode with?

Birthday wishes. I think I got maybe two, which is unusual. That made me a little butt-hurt, and recognizing that was the case I sat on this post till now (pun absolutely intended).

I actually ended up muting some folks on Facebook and unfollowing some other folks on Twitter after that day. Not because of what they were saying, but because the way in which they said it seemed to indicate that they would be incapable of having a real discussion.

And if I'm being completely honest, the topic of same-sex attraction has always been, to me, a purely academic one. That probably makes it simpler for me to judge people over their inability to have a discussion as opposed to simply screaming at each other. See, I've never been real close to the emotional responses of either side of that coin. I find nothing inherently disgusting about homosexuality. I also don't find anything inherently beautiful about it beyond any other interpersonal relationship that brings a person happiness, and I haven't really experienced that kind of polarizing emotion.

So I can't relate. To either side. Do I support same-sex marriage? Well, frankly, no. For some of the same reasons I don't support civil weddings. At least, not the way people expect me to. Now, I see the discrimination that definitely does exist against people who feel same-sex attraction, and I am not okay with that. It's not my pet topic of discrimination, but that kind of reviling against other people is never okay. Ever. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the marriage itself.

You might want to know my reasoning behind that, so I'll tell you. It really all comes back to a belief in an afterlife. And for those of you thinking you might like to start telling me how stupid and irrational it is to believe in an afterlife and honestly how could a thinking being even be that dumb, you can go ahead and leave now. Seriously. Just, right now. You have nothing useful to add to the discussion.

Still here? Good. Let's talk about why people get married. And it's not "because they're in love," that's a reason that doesn't make sense. What do both parties get out of being in love and married? Happiness. People get married because they're looking for happiness. It's sort of a fundamental part of being human. And in that way, allowing marriage for everyone makes a lot of good sense. It's allowing them to pursue happiness, something you may recognize from a document you might have read once.

So now you're probably wondering why I don't want people to be happy. And it brings me back around to the afterlife. See, I believe that there is a God, and that he does have a plan for us. That plan, oddly, is for us to be happy. And not just here in this life, but in a life to come. It's not an uncommon belief. But it's important to note that I believe God has outlined a plan intended to bring us that long-lasting eternal happiness. And a part of that plan is marriage.

And it's important to note that even here, it's not that I don't support same-sex marriage, it's that I feel a little pang whenever I see unsealed marriage. The idea is that in order for that union to bring us eternal happiness, it needs to be sealed by God's priesthood here on Earth. So that means civil weddings, weddings performed by anyone who does not have the authority from God to seal, won't carry over. Meaning that the happiness derived from such a union is finite. And it's exactly because I don't hate everyone else that I don't get behind these unsealed unions. I want everybody to be happy, but I know that the happiest you can be is through that sealing and the eternal bliss that we've been promised. It's the same for same-sex marriage. I want everyone involved to be happy in the much longer term than they're considering with that wedding.

So I'm happy you're happy. But I'm sad because your happiness cannot last.

When you look at same-sex marriage through that lens, there is a slight difference between it and an unsealed marriage between a man and a woman, in that according to what has thus far been revealed a same-sex marriage cannot be sealed after the fact. But in either case, it's putting an expiration date on happiness, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

So that's where I stand. If you'd like to have a conversation about that stance, or share your own civil and respectful thoughts, please do so in the comments below. If all you'd like to do is talk about how thick headed, narrow minded, and stupid I am, you can keep yer derned mouth shut. Those beliefs are based on a very personal foundation that runs deeper and stands firmer than the ground under your feet.

I don't think homosexuality is, in itself, sinful or evil or anything of that nature. It just is. I think there are probably homosexuals who are not great people. But if we're honest, the ratio of "devil-possessed homosexuals" is most likely similar to if not actually lower than the very real chronic inhumanity in the general populace. And I will never condone discrimination against anyone based on their sexual preference, which is why you don't see me posting hate-rants on Facebook, and which is why I haven't really spoken out on this topic before.

So do I hate homosexuals? No. I mean, why? What possible reason could there be to do so? And am I upset about the SCOTUS decision? Aside from them stealing all my birthday wishes (or I just have no friends, which is equally likely), no. Again, why would I be? But same-sex marriage doesn't make me happy for the people involved, and I hope that even if you don't agree, you can at least understand and respect where I'm coming from.

There. Now we can get back to poking fun at dead authors and mocking the English language.

Comments

  1. Your post is very thoughtful and well written, and I'm proud to be your mom! Happy Birthday, btw! I promise I was thinking more of you on that day the the supreme court's decision.

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