I am, at best, cautiously optimistic about the new Star Wars movie. A script by Lawrence Kasdan and a commitment to practical effects make me want to be excited, but the fact that it's being directed by JJ "The Shaky Flare" aka "Can't Stop The Motion" aka "Puke-Master" Abrams makes me want to keep my distance. My intention had been to wait to see this movie until several weeks after it released, so I had time to read some reviews and decide if I wanted to see it at all. But then my work announced that they'll pay for anyone who wanted to go see it opening night.
I'm not crazy. I'm going to go see it.
In preparation for that, my wife and I watched Episodes IV, V, and VI over the past week and a half. It was a nice stroll through my childhood, and I had a few realizations. The first was that I can still pretty much quote those movies start to finish despite not having seen them in years. The second was that my holier-than-thou attitude toward fans of the Star Wars prequels is, at best, barely founded in reality.
If you think that even suggesting that is sacrilege, you are part of the problem, and I once thought as you do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not defending the awfulness of George Lucas' single-drafted odes to blue-screen and CGI. Those were not good movies. Episode III, easily the best, was passable at it's best moments, and simultaneously cringe-inducing and boring for the rest of the time. So yeah, they sucked. I've been saying that more and more for years as I've matured and come to recognize all of the things they did wrong. I was generally okay with the first movie, as I was 11 when it was released, but by the time Episode III came out, I was starting to see through the cracks into the garbage behind the special effects. And hindsight has granted me the clarity to say "yes, Episodes I, II, and III were mistakes on the same level as the Holiday Special and the Special Editions."
Then I watched the movies I grew up with and uh... Well shoot. That same hindsight has made me realize that those weren't much better.
The key points; Jar-Jar. Oh heavens above, Jar-Jar. He's everything bad you can possibly have in a comic relief character. He's obnoxious, looks stupid, interjects idiocy into what should be completely serious moments, and isn't actually funny. I've heard people point out that C-3PO was a much better comic relief in Episode IV. While that may be true, I'm gonna have to throw ewoks right back at you.
I do not remember being so bugged by those guys when I was a kid, but then Jar-Jar didn't bother me the first time I saw Episode I either.
"But no," I hear you saying, "The ewoks were cute and fluffy, and they served a purpose!"
That purpose being setting the protagonists up with an army of indigenous aliens just when they needed it to stand up against the army of faceless bad guys? Hmm... where have I heard that before... And they're not remotely amusing, any more than Jar-Jar was. Face it. The ewoks are the Jar-Jar of the original movies.
My next enormous gripe has always been with the script. George's screenplay for the prequel trilogy was, to put it delicately, a steaming pile of "bantha poodoo." Ugh, even the phrase "bantha poodoo" is evidence of how stupid that screenplay really... Wait, what was that?
Oh. Huh. That was in Return of the Jedi first. Go figure.
And that's kinda endemic. The scripts for Episodes IV and VI were... well shoot, forced and lifeless. Episode IV worked because we didn't know that these characters could be any better than they were in that movie, but Episode V showed us the sheer levels of awesome that were possible and Episode VI's dialogue fell flat on its face by comparison. So yeah, the dialogue of the prequel trilogy was mechanical and makes you wonder if George Lucas has ever actually spoken to real human beings, but in retrospect the dialogue of Episodes IV and VI, despite the efforts of people who are not George, wasn't much better.
There are more of this kind of thing that struck me that way as we watched the original trilogy than I can really get into here, and I came out of the experience humbled. Turns out I love those movies because I was a kid and space-knights in space-planes attacking death-moons were super awesome for a kid. Also turns out those same things are pretty awesome for kids that grew up with the prequel trilogy. So yeah, Episode I was barely entertaining and Episode III had way too much politics in it, but Episode IV had the goofiest sword-fight of all time in it and Episode VI sounds like a really bad imitation of a Shakespeare play. Turns out my childhood was only better because I was a child during it.
Except Attack of the Clones and The Empire Strikes Back. Episode II is a festering pile no matter what you think, and Episode V is a shining jewel of clever writing, engaging action, compelling plot, and interesting characters.
So yeah, I'm keeping my holier-than-thou attitude. I'll just be a little less vocal about it.
I'm not crazy. I'm going to go see it.
In preparation for that, my wife and I watched Episodes IV, V, and VI over the past week and a half. It was a nice stroll through my childhood, and I had a few realizations. The first was that I can still pretty much quote those movies start to finish despite not having seen them in years. The second was that my holier-than-thou attitude toward fans of the Star Wars prequels is, at best, barely founded in reality.
If you think that even suggesting that is sacrilege, you are part of the problem, and I once thought as you do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not defending the awfulness of George Lucas' single-drafted odes to blue-screen and CGI. Those were not good movies. Episode III, easily the best, was passable at it's best moments, and simultaneously cringe-inducing and boring for the rest of the time. So yeah, they sucked. I've been saying that more and more for years as I've matured and come to recognize all of the things they did wrong. I was generally okay with the first movie, as I was 11 when it was released, but by the time Episode III came out, I was starting to see through the cracks into the garbage behind the special effects. And hindsight has granted me the clarity to say "yes, Episodes I, II, and III were mistakes on the same level as the Holiday Special and the Special Editions."
Then I watched the movies I grew up with and uh... Well shoot. That same hindsight has made me realize that those weren't much better.
The key points; Jar-Jar. Oh heavens above, Jar-Jar. He's everything bad you can possibly have in a comic relief character. He's obnoxious, looks stupid, interjects idiocy into what should be completely serious moments, and isn't actually funny. I've heard people point out that C-3PO was a much better comic relief in Episode IV. While that may be true, I'm gonna have to throw ewoks right back at you.
I do not remember being so bugged by those guys when I was a kid, but then Jar-Jar didn't bother me the first time I saw Episode I either.
"But no," I hear you saying, "The ewoks were cute and fluffy, and they served a purpose!"
That purpose being setting the protagonists up with an army of indigenous aliens just when they needed it to stand up against the army of faceless bad guys? Hmm... where have I heard that before... And they're not remotely amusing, any more than Jar-Jar was. Face it. The ewoks are the Jar-Jar of the original movies.
My next enormous gripe has always been with the script. George's screenplay for the prequel trilogy was, to put it delicately, a steaming pile of "bantha poodoo." Ugh, even the phrase "bantha poodoo" is evidence of how stupid that screenplay really... Wait, what was that?
Oh. Huh. That was in Return of the Jedi first. Go figure.
And that's kinda endemic. The scripts for Episodes IV and VI were... well shoot, forced and lifeless. Episode IV worked because we didn't know that these characters could be any better than they were in that movie, but Episode V showed us the sheer levels of awesome that were possible and Episode VI's dialogue fell flat on its face by comparison. So yeah, the dialogue of the prequel trilogy was mechanical and makes you wonder if George Lucas has ever actually spoken to real human beings, but in retrospect the dialogue of Episodes IV and VI, despite the efforts of people who are not George, wasn't much better.
There are more of this kind of thing that struck me that way as we watched the original trilogy than I can really get into here, and I came out of the experience humbled. Turns out I love those movies because I was a kid and space-knights in space-planes attacking death-moons were super awesome for a kid. Also turns out those same things are pretty awesome for kids that grew up with the prequel trilogy. So yeah, Episode I was barely entertaining and Episode III had way too much politics in it, but Episode IV had the goofiest sword-fight of all time in it and Episode VI sounds like a really bad imitation of a Shakespeare play. Turns out my childhood was only better because I was a child during it.
Except Attack of the Clones and The Empire Strikes Back. Episode II is a festering pile no matter what you think, and Episode V is a shining jewel of clever writing, engaging action, compelling plot, and interesting characters.
So yeah, I'm keeping my holier-than-thou attitude. I'll just be a little less vocal about it.
What makes your comment about Shakespeare funny is that someone actually went out and wrote the trilogy as if Shakespeare had.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of those but I haven't read them.
ReplyDelete