Kung Fu Yoga

All right, this is... a bit of a different one. The majority of the movies I review are the main stream blockbusters and high profile hits, because I figure that's what most of you are interested in and I really like watching them. But that's far from the only thing I enjoy watching, and just the other day I watched something that lit my mind up with a beacon of realization.

It's on Netflix right now, and I highly recommend you use that Netflix subscription for something useful and go watch it. If you don't have a Netflix subscription, sign up. The first month is free. If you don't think you'll be able to remember to cancel before the free month is up, steal someone else's login. Because you really should watch Kung Fu Yoga.

I know what some of you are thinking; he seems pretty adamant, is this movie really that good?

Tell, me, where did I say it was good? In comparison to a lot of the movies you're probably used to it is actually pretty terrible in a few key ways. The whole beginning is computer rendered, for instance, and anyone who has seen anything in the MCU will be utterly disappointed by those graphics. They're, just... pitiful. And the sets throughout, where not shot on location, are pretty blatantly... not the best. You know the set design and construction for The Lord of the Rings? You know how those sets appear mind-blowingly realistic? Yeah, these sets are not those sets.

And the script. It's just... straight up awful in places. The story too. It's a ham-handed combination of the 90's Tomb Raider, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and, like... a rotting deer carcass. Characterization could be conservatively described as "fast and loose", motivations are incomprehensible, and real-world concerns like money, travel time, and "gravity" are glossed over without a second thought.

And that's not even mentioning the stuff that's taste-driven. This movie is basically a combination of Hong Kong martial arts films and Bollywood, prominently featuring acting staples of both production types, including the physical stylings of Jackie Chan. The spoken bits switch back and forth between Mandarin and English mostly, though I'm pretty sure there are some indigenous Indian languages in there as well that I didn't have the background to recognize. If you don't like heavily choreographed martial arts sequences or the rampant action and situational ridiculousness that defines Bollywood, then this movie was doomed to fail from its very conception.

But I loved it. The action was tight, entertaining, and showed a lot of skill on the parts of both the actors and the crew that choreographed and performed the stunts. From Jackie's signature martial hilarity to an absolutely bonkers car chase through Dubai that involves a lion and ends with a guy dropping out of a car door while the vehicle is flipping through the air to land mid-stride and non-chalantly walk through the front door of a restaurant, this movie literally has a little bit of everything.

And the production values aren't actually bad, they're intentionally campy. Anyone who has seen anything from Bollywood knows what I'm talking about. They know they can't compete with big-budget Hollywood, not really, so they take the legitimately talented actors they have and then construct this very deliberate tone of campy ridiculousness around them. It's completely intentional, and I think it's done very well in this film. Absolutely everything, from the terrible script, the ridiculous characters, the over-the-top action, the bonkers story, and even the bizarre sets made me laugh. It was a ride, and I loved it.

On top of that the bits of the movie actually shot on location were gorgeous, and throughout the whole thing you could tell that the actors were having a blast just... being with each other. I felt included in their little in-joke that was Kung Fu Yoga. They knew it was silly, I could see it was silly, and together we just laughed about it for a solid hour-and-forty-five minutes.

So this movie is a new litmus test for me. If you can't watch this movie and derive some kind of pure joy from the experience, well... I'm not sure how good of friends we can really be.