Yes, this movie has been out for... years. Yes, I finally watched it, on an international flight, thereby avoiding any charge beyond the time to watch it, which was time I would have been wasting staring out the window at the ocean anyway. I literally put the least amount of care or effort into seeing this movie possible, making my investment so minuscule that literally all it had to do to justify itself was make pleasing noises every now and then.
Um... Well, I didn't hate Will Smith. So I guess it barely managed to squeak over this bar I left laying on the floor.
Listen, this movie reviewed very poorly. Anyone who saw it in theaters chose poorly. Anyone who purchased or rented this movie chose poorly. Anyone who wasted a free Redbox code on this movie chose poorly. You folks who watched it on planes or in waiting rooms or on TV in a hotel room while you had literally nothing else to do but wait were the ones that didn't make a mistake here. Suicide Squad is very possibly the worst superhero movie made in the past few decades.
Yes, that list includes Spiderman 3, The Silver Surfer, and The Incredible Hulk. I'm including those. Read my review of The Incredible Hulk and you'll have an idea of just how bad I thought Suicide Squad was. I can't possibly give you a comprehensive list of all of my issues with it right here. I don't have the time or even the desire to find the time to spend more gray cells on this movie. So you get a short list of broad topics regarding what Suicide Squad did wrong. It's got three items on it.
You frequenters will appreciate that, surely.
First! The story and script. This movie is paced badly, plotted badly, and written badly. None of the character's motivations make any real sense, and every action taken by virtually every person on screen seems ill-informed even when they have access to more information than even the audience does. The dialogue has a few moments of normalcy, but the rest of it sits somewhere between a badly executed attempt at the signature snap of MCU dialogue and the introspective monologues of Star Trek V. The characterization is either unrelated to the actions of the characters or straight up nonexistent, my favorite examples of which are the "main" characters who you can tell are there literally just to die based on how many sentences of background they're given. As if the writers basically said "eh, this named main character is gonna die, don't waste any time explaining anything about why he's there in the first place."
Second! The visuals. I made a joke in my review of Batman v Superman regarding the color saturation of the trailers for Suicide Squad over time. My suggestion, made in jest, was that the DCU was providing evidence that they can listen to their fans simply by making Suicide Squad colorful after the overwhelming majority of their audience complained about the lack of color in BvS. I hereby retract even the joking suggestion that the DCU can listen to their fans. This movie was visually devoid of charm in virtually every facet, and suffered from the same colorlessness as the previous movies in the DCU. DC... what the heck is so hard about "just DON'T overlay the entire movie with a sepia-toned filter in post"? You're so consistent about it that is has to be deliberate, and I cannot fathom how nobody in any position of power over there has yet to realize that it's a terrible idea.
Third! The action. Beyond just looking bad in general (see "terrible visuals", above), the action in this movie was impossible to follow and made no sense, ever, at any point (see "badly written", above). This is literally the lowest common denominator for a superhero movie; there must be entertaining action. If you can pull that off, with some impressive special effects, some incredible acrobatics, or even just a really nice money-shot you can hang on in slow motion for a few seconds to really let the audience luxuriate in the action, you can cross the bar I set for this movie. Flipping BATTLESHIP managed to do this! But Suicide Squad couldn't pull off even that. Even The League of Extraordinary flipping Gentlemen managed to have some entertaining action, and that movie has some of the most inexplicable, convoluted, and incomprehensible action in the history of Hollywood.
And guys, I haven't even talked about the Joker. Recasting that character less than a decade after Heath Ledger's definitive live-action performance of the character was risky. Doing that recasting while simultaneously creating possibly the most ill-advised version of that character ever was downright moronic.
I mentioned Will Smith at the top as the only reason this movie managed to barely meet my expectations. He's a charismatic, fun-to-watch guy, and he tried really hard. His character was dumb, but Will Smith himself was occasionally fun to watch. I have respect for him and his efforts, he's still a good actor, and he's also the only redeeming feature of this film.
I've talked on this blog about how The Incredible Hulk has the unique distinction of being not the worst at any single thing, but instead just comprehensively bad at everything. I'm now going to apply that description to Suicide Squad instead, but with the exception that several of the things it does actually are the worst examples I can think of off the top of my head. This movie has the unique distinction of being comprehensively terrible. Will Smith's existence elevates the production a hair, but even still I'd say that Suicide Squad edges out The Incredible Hulk for the position of my least favorite superhero movie. It's so bad it doesn't entertain me in any facet, but it manages to be that bad without adding any of the camp that makes stuff like Silver Surfer or the Aang Lee Hulk unintentionally funny.
What a distinguished position you've got down here at the bottom, DC.
Um... Well, I didn't hate Will Smith. So I guess it barely managed to squeak over this bar I left laying on the floor.
Listen, this movie reviewed very poorly. Anyone who saw it in theaters chose poorly. Anyone who purchased or rented this movie chose poorly. Anyone who wasted a free Redbox code on this movie chose poorly. You folks who watched it on planes or in waiting rooms or on TV in a hotel room while you had literally nothing else to do but wait were the ones that didn't make a mistake here. Suicide Squad is very possibly the worst superhero movie made in the past few decades.
Yes, that list includes Spiderman 3, The Silver Surfer, and The Incredible Hulk. I'm including those. Read my review of The Incredible Hulk and you'll have an idea of just how bad I thought Suicide Squad was. I can't possibly give you a comprehensive list of all of my issues with it right here. I don't have the time or even the desire to find the time to spend more gray cells on this movie. So you get a short list of broad topics regarding what Suicide Squad did wrong. It's got three items on it.
You frequenters will appreciate that, surely.
First! The story and script. This movie is paced badly, plotted badly, and written badly. None of the character's motivations make any real sense, and every action taken by virtually every person on screen seems ill-informed even when they have access to more information than even the audience does. The dialogue has a few moments of normalcy, but the rest of it sits somewhere between a badly executed attempt at the signature snap of MCU dialogue and the introspective monologues of Star Trek V. The characterization is either unrelated to the actions of the characters or straight up nonexistent, my favorite examples of which are the "main" characters who you can tell are there literally just to die based on how many sentences of background they're given. As if the writers basically said "eh, this named main character is gonna die, don't waste any time explaining anything about why he's there in the first place."
Second! The visuals. I made a joke in my review of Batman v Superman regarding the color saturation of the trailers for Suicide Squad over time. My suggestion, made in jest, was that the DCU was providing evidence that they can listen to their fans simply by making Suicide Squad colorful after the overwhelming majority of their audience complained about the lack of color in BvS. I hereby retract even the joking suggestion that the DCU can listen to their fans. This movie was visually devoid of charm in virtually every facet, and suffered from the same colorlessness as the previous movies in the DCU. DC... what the heck is so hard about "just DON'T overlay the entire movie with a sepia-toned filter in post"? You're so consistent about it that is has to be deliberate, and I cannot fathom how nobody in any position of power over there has yet to realize that it's a terrible idea.
Third! The action. Beyond just looking bad in general (see "terrible visuals", above), the action in this movie was impossible to follow and made no sense, ever, at any point (see "badly written", above). This is literally the lowest common denominator for a superhero movie; there must be entertaining action. If you can pull that off, with some impressive special effects, some incredible acrobatics, or even just a really nice money-shot you can hang on in slow motion for a few seconds to really let the audience luxuriate in the action, you can cross the bar I set for this movie. Flipping BATTLESHIP managed to do this! But Suicide Squad couldn't pull off even that. Even The League of Extraordinary flipping Gentlemen managed to have some entertaining action, and that movie has some of the most inexplicable, convoluted, and incomprehensible action in the history of Hollywood.
And guys, I haven't even talked about the Joker. Recasting that character less than a decade after Heath Ledger's definitive live-action performance of the character was risky. Doing that recasting while simultaneously creating possibly the most ill-advised version of that character ever was downright moronic.
I mentioned Will Smith at the top as the only reason this movie managed to barely meet my expectations. He's a charismatic, fun-to-watch guy, and he tried really hard. His character was dumb, but Will Smith himself was occasionally fun to watch. I have respect for him and his efforts, he's still a good actor, and he's also the only redeeming feature of this film.
I've talked on this blog about how The Incredible Hulk has the unique distinction of being not the worst at any single thing, but instead just comprehensively bad at everything. I'm now going to apply that description to Suicide Squad instead, but with the exception that several of the things it does actually are the worst examples I can think of off the top of my head. This movie has the unique distinction of being comprehensively terrible. Will Smith's existence elevates the production a hair, but even still I'd say that Suicide Squad edges out The Incredible Hulk for the position of my least favorite superhero movie. It's so bad it doesn't entertain me in any facet, but it manages to be that bad without adding any of the camp that makes stuff like Silver Surfer or the Aang Lee Hulk unintentionally funny.
What a distinguished position you've got down here at the bottom, DC.
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