Buhuhuhuhuhu... yeah. So this came out in 2016, and is a direct sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, which, you know, sucked. And if you're wondering why I'm just now getting around to reviewing Winter's War more than two years after its release, well that's because I just barely got around to watching it.
I saw Snow White and the Huntsman. I was in no hurry to see an ill-informed sequel.
Aaaand now you're even more confused, you ridiculous frequenter you, as to why I'm reviewing Winter's War when I didn't think the first one warranted anything? "Spendlove," you're thinking, "You make absolutely no sense." Though, to be fair, that's basically business as usual.
So, I finally watched Winter's War, and I decided it was worth writing about. Why? Strength of narrative? Strength of performance? Strength of visuals? Emotion? Humor? Action? Weirdness? Well uh... no. It's not appreciably strong in any of those areas. Except perhaps weirdness. But here's the really weird thing; I actually liked it. It was sorta cathartic in the same way that finally pooping after you've been constipated for a while is, you know it'll be painful going in but afterwards you're happy that okay yeah, this metaphor is maybe pretty good but I recognize comparing a movie to post-constipation-dumping may not be the strongest comparison I've ever made for several reasons. But I'm too lazy to try and make it better, so we're gonna roll with it.
And hey, that's pretty much what they did with Winter's War too! So it works out.
Look, I'm not going to tell you this is a good movie. It's incomprehensible as often as it is overly simplistic, and it sorta wobbles from one plot point to the next like it's recovering from multiple invasive leg surgeries and is also drunk. The performances are what I'd term as "huahahahahaaaah, what now?", and the visuals are pretty repetitive considering the money that appears to have been spent on digital effects. The humor is ridiculous, the emotion is too, and the action is... also ridiculous. The whole movie is a hybrid of bizarre b-movie fantasy tropes and insane blockbuster effects filled with a-list actors performing like they're in high school. It's abysmal.
And also hugely entertaining if that's what you're expecting going in. If you get a kick out of the ridiculousness of b-movies, with their bad acting, bad writing, and bad effects, but you also really enjoy a high-production-value blockbuster with recognizable a-listers, this movie is actually a really competent combination of the two. And if it sounds like I'm actually giving credit to the production team for that combination, it's because I am. Like Aquaman late last year, I would say this movie feels like this was done intentionally. It was meant to be bad.
I say that because all of the badness was straight up camp. There wasn't anything in here that made me cringe, or roll my eyes, or sigh heavily and take a massive swig, Haymitch Abernathy style, from the hip flask you're now picturing I have. The badness, the 'errors' and 'mistakes' were right up front on the production's sleeve, and I laughed through the entire movie at them. The best part? Nothing in this movie wanted me to take it seriously. Even the actors were all in on the joke, being exactly as silly as they needed to be in order to let me, as a viewer, know that they were just having fun. They weren't trying, and I kinda feel like that was the right call.
The one exception to that was Emily Blunt, who was evidently not told that she wasn't supposed to act the ever-lovin' snot out of this part, and proceeded to do so regardless of the insanity and baffled looks that must have accompanied her throughout the entire production process. She sold emotional depth to the character of Freya that, honestly, the script never even tried to have, simply by being amazing at her job. Nobody was there just acting like themselves, of course, they're all rather talented actors. But they weren't pouring heart and soul into it like she was, and that was fine.
Everyone else entertained. Emily Blunt impressed.
And frankly, given the silliness of literally everything else on screen her quality performance actually felt a little jarring. But she did single-handedly manage to get me to feel some actual sorrow in the finale, so, you know, mad props for that.
In the end the movie is more like The Princess Bride than it is The Lord of the Rings. It's basically satirizing itself while it's running, and that kind of behavior in a film is, to me, endlessly entertaining. So there you have it. The Huntsman: Winter's War. Way better than the first one, still not a good movie, but more entertaining than I think it had any right to be. Worth a rent if you're planning on watching it with a group of naturally ridiculous or absolutely plastered friends.
I saw Snow White and the Huntsman. I was in no hurry to see an ill-informed sequel.
Aaaand now you're even more confused, you ridiculous frequenter you, as to why I'm reviewing Winter's War when I didn't think the first one warranted anything? "Spendlove," you're thinking, "You make absolutely no sense." Though, to be fair, that's basically business as usual.
So, I finally watched Winter's War, and I decided it was worth writing about. Why? Strength of narrative? Strength of performance? Strength of visuals? Emotion? Humor? Action? Weirdness? Well uh... no. It's not appreciably strong in any of those areas. Except perhaps weirdness. But here's the really weird thing; I actually liked it. It was sorta cathartic in the same way that finally pooping after you've been constipated for a while is, you know it'll be painful going in but afterwards you're happy that okay yeah, this metaphor is maybe pretty good but I recognize comparing a movie to post-constipation-dumping may not be the strongest comparison I've ever made for several reasons. But I'm too lazy to try and make it better, so we're gonna roll with it.
And hey, that's pretty much what they did with Winter's War too! So it works out.
Look, I'm not going to tell you this is a good movie. It's incomprehensible as often as it is overly simplistic, and it sorta wobbles from one plot point to the next like it's recovering from multiple invasive leg surgeries and is also drunk. The performances are what I'd term as "huahahahahaaaah, what now?", and the visuals are pretty repetitive considering the money that appears to have been spent on digital effects. The humor is ridiculous, the emotion is too, and the action is... also ridiculous. The whole movie is a hybrid of bizarre b-movie fantasy tropes and insane blockbuster effects filled with a-list actors performing like they're in high school. It's abysmal.
And also hugely entertaining if that's what you're expecting going in. If you get a kick out of the ridiculousness of b-movies, with their bad acting, bad writing, and bad effects, but you also really enjoy a high-production-value blockbuster with recognizable a-listers, this movie is actually a really competent combination of the two. And if it sounds like I'm actually giving credit to the production team for that combination, it's because I am. Like Aquaman late last year, I would say this movie feels like this was done intentionally. It was meant to be bad.
I say that because all of the badness was straight up camp. There wasn't anything in here that made me cringe, or roll my eyes, or sigh heavily and take a massive swig, Haymitch Abernathy style, from the hip flask you're now picturing I have. The badness, the 'errors' and 'mistakes' were right up front on the production's sleeve, and I laughed through the entire movie at them. The best part? Nothing in this movie wanted me to take it seriously. Even the actors were all in on the joke, being exactly as silly as they needed to be in order to let me, as a viewer, know that they were just having fun. They weren't trying, and I kinda feel like that was the right call.
The one exception to that was Emily Blunt, who was evidently not told that she wasn't supposed to act the ever-lovin' snot out of this part, and proceeded to do so regardless of the insanity and baffled looks that must have accompanied her throughout the entire production process. She sold emotional depth to the character of Freya that, honestly, the script never even tried to have, simply by being amazing at her job. Nobody was there just acting like themselves, of course, they're all rather talented actors. But they weren't pouring heart and soul into it like she was, and that was fine.
Everyone else entertained. Emily Blunt impressed.
And frankly, given the silliness of literally everything else on screen her quality performance actually felt a little jarring. But she did single-handedly manage to get me to feel some actual sorrow in the finale, so, you know, mad props for that.
In the end the movie is more like The Princess Bride than it is The Lord of the Rings. It's basically satirizing itself while it's running, and that kind of behavior in a film is, to me, endlessly entertaining. So there you have it. The Huntsman: Winter's War. Way better than the first one, still not a good movie, but more entertaining than I think it had any right to be. Worth a rent if you're planning on watching it with a group of naturally ridiculous or absolutely plastered friends.
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