As with all of these lists I would like to get right out in front that I intend this to be objective. My purpose here is to say that these are, categorically, the 5 best instruments ever made.
What, you thought the lists on this blog were all just my opinion?? Well yeah, you'd be right. But not this one. These are the best instruments ever. And I'm not pulling back on this, or making generalizations. I'm identifying very specific instrument types that are the 5 best, setting aside their close relatives entirely. Although I suppose some of their siblings are also pretty dope, maybe I'll throw in a few honorable mentions.
Some of you may think I'm biased because these are all the instruments I can play with any sort of proficiency, and I just want you all to know you're wrong. I assure you I am completely unbiased in this matter.
The Bass Trombone
Ask any trombone player which trombone is the best, and this is the answer you'll get. Anyone who says otherwise is lying, either to you or to themselves. The reason for that is because this thing has the general timbre of your average tenor trombone, which is a necessary addition to any orchestral sound and is the low brass sound that solos best, and then carries that timbre down into octaves normally reserved for tubas and contrabass whatevers. For sheer values of range and projection, this thing rules.
Honorable mention: Other trombones. It's just a good sound. Just because these other fellas haven't hit puberty doesn't mean they don't sound as cool. They just don't sound as cool as low.
The 4-Valve Euphonium
People make a lot of stink about the french horn and its melodious sound, and I just want it to be clear that those people are really over-hyping what is easily the most mis-played brass instrument out there. Can it sound amazing? Sure. Will you ever hear it sound amazing outside of film scores and other recordings? Probably not. The euphonium, though, has all of the melodic breadth of a french horn in a component package that's much simpler to make sound good, which means, you know, it sounds good kinda regardless of who's playing it. Then armed with a 4th valve you gain access to more accurate pitches and a usable range down below the bass clef, and suddenly you have an incredibly melodic instrument with a functional 5-octave range, which is the sort of thing you tend not to see outside of pianos and their ilk.
The 4-Valve Concert Tuba
Instruments that play low are not, by default, better than everything else, but it sure doesn't hurt. And tubas are a wonderful beast. Depending on where in their range you're playing you can carry melodies, blend in beautiful harmonies, or play a foundational roll in a symphonic orchestration. They're versatile, instantly recognizable, and with the accuracy and bottom afforded by a 4th valve and a tremendous amount of air, they'll make the woofer on your sound system reach to match them.
Honorable mention: The Sousaphone. It doesn't have anywhere near as pleasant a sound as a good concert tuba, but taking a giant freaking hunk of metal like a tuba and converting it into a form that can easily be carried and played for hours on end is pretty impressive. And the sousaphone does have a distinct sound, sorta like a bass trombone. As long as you blow hard enough.
The Marching Euphonium
Look, we've already gone into what makes the euphonium great. Now take everything good about that and throw 30 of them onto a football field. These things are versatile, easily able to carry melodic lines or join in gorgeous harmonies. They can form a gentle backdrop for a soloist, a powerful foundation for an ensemble, or heck, take the solo spotlight for themselves. It'll get close to matching a trombone for timbre while destroying it in projection, and it'll out-mello a fluglehorn. Fabulous.
Honorable mention: Marching baritones. They can't sound quite as pretty as the euph, but they're a good runner up for versatility and they're a lot easier to get your hands on.
The Baritone Bugle
Bugle's fell out of popularity for good reasons; nobody was writing brass music in G. The only organizations using bugles were ostensibly educational, and teaching people to really rock on a dead-end instrument was kinda antithetical to their stated goals. So bugles are gone. But brass music lost something when that happened, because while the soprano and alto bugles can be approximated pretty closely by cornets and mellophones, the baritone bugle was a sound unlike any other. It had the versatility of a marching euphonium with a timbre that would carry for miiiiiles. The unstated end goal of literally every brass instrument.
Honorable mention: Contrabass bugles. The projecting power of a sousaphone paired with something approaching the sound quality of a concert tuba. These were a special beast.
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