I've used a lot of fight analogies regarding fast food over the past six months or so, going so far as to generate silly pictures of personified fast food joints in combat sport attire.
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| Oh hey, look, there's another one. |
Oh, sorry, were you waiting for that to go somewhere? Like for me to perhaps suggest that I've placed far too much emphasis on the comparative aspect of eating? No, I was just stating a fact. This is a fight, and somebody is going to come out on top. So far it's looking like Wendy's, but after comparing the Whopper and Quarter Pounder with Cheese to the Dave's Single I figured it was about time to give Carl's Jr's version of the Standard Burger a shot at the title. Fittingly, it also has a catchy, trademarked name; the Famous Star.
And I really wanted this to be dramatic. Going to Carl's Jr near my house is always a good time, honestly. We take bets over whether there will be anyone at the drive thru, or heck, anyone at the restaurant at all, or whether we'll be able to see the bored employees scrambling off the disused indoor jungle-gym as we pull up. Worth noting said children's play apparatus has probably not been used or cleaned in at least five years, though despite that there's a sign out front suggesting you call ahead to book your kid's birthday party there. I cannot imagine a better way to offend my kids, but I guess since we don't have a Chuck-e-Cheese's laundering drug money anywhere nearby the Carl's Jr decided to step up.
But while pulling up to the building always carries a strange anticipation to it, this occasion being no different, the food experience was decidedly less thrilling. Which doesn't mean it was bad, don't mistake me. Bad is dramatic. The Famous Star was just... fine. Much as with the Whopper I was given a sandwich that I would describe as perfectly adequate, if not exactly stand-out on any particular point. The presentation and construction of the burger was fine, and the quality of the ingredients, in stark contrast to the Q-P-with-Chee, was also fine. Also mirroring my experience with the Whopper, the hamburger patty was quite thin, making it the only component on the sandwich that was worse overall than the McDurdle's burger, though on balance I still enjoyed the Famous Star more than the Quarter Pounder if only because it didn't make me feel like I was drinking from a fire-hose of mustard.
The nature of the patty was actually surprising to me, I will say. I recall when I lived on the opposite side of the country back in the late naughts that Hardee's was in the middle of a big advertising kick over all their burgers having switched to 1/3rd pound patties. And while I didn't exactly expect that to still be the case, given the rising cost of beef over the intervening decade-and-a-half, I did expect it to match the basically price-comparable standard burgers from the other chains at a quarter pound. What I got was more like the sort of skinny smash-burger-style patty you might get from In-N-Out, which was disappointing, considering that there you also get a drink and fries for the price that the Famous Star commands all alone.
Oh how the mighty have, like a shooting star, fallen.
I woke up craving irony, and looky there, I found it. In the end I didn't have any problems with the Famous Star, and I found it similarly enjoyable to the Whopper, which is to say it tastes all right but at that price I will very likely never buy one again. Carl's Jr has other burgers that interest me more, and I might just give them a shot considering they've managed not to offend me yet, so even if my only other option for food was a Mc****le's, I would still likely not opt for the Famous Star. So my recommendation for your standard fast-food burger continues to be Wendy's if you're looking for outright flavor, or In-N-Out if you're chasing bang-for-your-buck.
Sorry Jr. Better luck next time.
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